Raise Caring Children: Some Proven Tips

According to Harvard Psychologists the best way to raise good caring children doesn't need to hire expensive private tutors or have them attend summer camps. Instead, it all comes down to train them how to care for others too.


In a recent report, Harvard psychologists revealed that children who think about others are happier, plain and simple. Which is great because, as we well know, a happy kid also means a happy mom.

Here are the 7 parenting strategies they outlined that are proven to raise caring children.

Put Fun Time on the Calendar

Why: Kids learn about care and respect when they are treated with care and respect, psychologists say. The best time to give them care and respect—when you're doing something fun together!

How: It's as simple as reading your child a bedtime story or playing tennis together. "Build one-on-one time into their weekly schedules rather than leaving it to chance," the findings suggest. That way you'll treat it just as importantly as that work meeting, and it's more likely to happen on a regular basis. Asking questions like "what was the best part of your day?" and "what did you accomplish today that makes you feel good?" can help them learn to think beyond the surface level of their actions and identify their feelings.

Be a Strong Role Model

Why: The experts say your child learns ethical values and behaviors by watching you.

How: Pay close attention to whether or not you're practicing honesty, fairness, and caring for yourself. "Nobody is perfect all the time," the Harvard report points out. "That is why it's important for us, in fact, to model for children humility, self-awareness, and honesty by acknowledging and working on our mistakes and flaws." Your kids know you're not perfect—or they will when they get to their teenage years—so own it and use it as a chance to talk through your mistakes with your child.

Prioritize Caring for Others

Why: Children won't know that caring about others will make them feel better unless you teach them, experts say.

How: Set high ethical expectations. The findings suggest prioritizing commitments, doing the right thing (even when it's hard), and standing up for values of fairness and justice. Do this and you're on the road to raising someone concerned with the world around them.

Encourage Them To Say Thank You

Why: Children need to practice gratitude. "It's important for them to acknowledge the many people who contribute to their lives," according to the psychologists. It will grow them to be helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving—plus, they'll be happier and healthier, the studies found.

How: Make sure your child is showing gratitude on the reg—dinnertime, in the car, at a friend's house, or routinely reflecting and thinking of others. The report says daily repetition is key. Pretty soon, it will be second nature to your kid.

Talk About World Problems

Why: It's important for children to think about their social circle of family and friends, while also being concerned with the big picture. "It's important for children to develop concern for people who live in other cultures and communities," the experts say. This will make them empathetic and prepare them to connect with people of all backgrounds.

How: Discuss global hardships with your child and use newspapers, magazines, or the TV to start the conversation. You can also prompt them to think about what it's like to be someone else. Even if it's just the new kid in class, all of these little thoughtful moments will add up.

Motivate Them to Join a Cause

Why: By getting involved in the community, your child will learn about fairness, loyalty, ethics, and how to work with others. Most children are naturally interested in ethical questions, so by getting involved, they'll be able to navigate their way through these issues.

How: Involve your child in a cause that takes action against problems they face or addresses an area that interests them, the experts suggest. Bonus points if you actually do it with them.

Navigate Through Their Feelings

Why: Kids need to learn how to deal with their emotions in productive ways. Working on this with your child will cut down on the fussy fits and bad attitude they may express. Sometimes our ability to care for others is limited by feelings of anger, shame, or envy, so it's important to overcome these emotions to transform your child into a caring person.

How: Identify feelings with your child, figure out resolutions with them, and train them to work through problems calmly. The report suggests a three-step trick: "stop, take a deep breath through the nose and exhale through the mouth, and count to five." Once they're calm, then you should talk about the problem.

Teen's Advice To Parents About Nurturing Spiritual Growth

These are Teen's Advice To Parents About Nurturing Spiritual Growth.

Be involved! 
Talk to your kids about God, and pray with each child specifically about his or her concerns.  Also don't forget to always talk to God about your kids and also bless them during their sleep.

Talk about it!
You must be sensitive with the struggles that your kids are going through, and don't discount it or take it for granted.  You can also relate your experiences as a young person.  When my kids were young, they love (and even urge us) to tell them about our childhood experiences which usually started with "During our early childhood years..."  or "When I was just a young boy/ girl..." You could really see the excitement on their faces as they listen to the story.  Verbally and practically, create a 'safe' environment.

Take time to pray with your teens.
We do this every night, before going to bed, and every morning, at the start of the day.  We pray as we drove to school. This shows that the parent truly cares about what is going on in her or his teen's life.  Encourage them to get involved in Christian groups, and find Christian music they enjoy.  Music really is powerful in affecting an individual, so be sure to plug them in to the good music!

Have a relationship with your teen, and talk openly and often about your faith.
Real relationship means that you really relate with your teen.  You know them deeply and not only knowing what and when they need something.  You let them feel that you really care for them and you are there when they need you especially during hard or crucial moments,  when they have some questions in mind about life that would probably be difficult for them to find the answers.  You could treat them as your friend.

Spend time in God's Word with them.  Pray with them and for them. Open doors of communication by creating a 'safe' environment.  It's like telling them that your teens could approach you anytime of the day and you are there to listen to them and talk with them.  Explain that God does not wait on the edge of His seat for us to make mistakes so He can judge us.  He loves us and wants us to walk in His grace.

Being a parent is a great opportunity of reflecting the image of our loving heavenly Father.  This is one way to disciple them to be Christ-like.

Disciple Your Children Intentionally, Making a Timeless Investment

Disciple Your Children Intentionally, Making a Timeless Investment

You don't need to be a perfect Christian to disciple your teens.

Nobody's perfect, even and especially Christians.  And you don't need to be a perfect Christian in discipling your teens and it doesn't require you to be perfect either in helping your teen to become an authentic follower of Jesus Christ.

It can and should be a natural, caring, and even fun experience!

This means that in leading your teens to become mature in their Christian life, it doesn't have to become a form of torture.  If in the process it feels like a straitjacket, a knife fight, or a migraine, there is something wrong.  Being a spiritual mentor to your teenager can and should be a natural, caring, even fun experience that benefits both you and your child - for eternity.

But you will need to be intentional about it!

Because in this world where we live in, nothing happen by accident or by chance.  Even our Great God is an "intentional" God.  His intentions and motives are for our own best.

The same is also true in discipling our teens.  We need to be intentional, and anything as somber-sounding as "intentional discipling" has to be hard and unpleasant, doesn't it?

5 Tips to Discipline Your Teens

Here are four ways to practice the kind of discipline that helps your teens become and eager spiritual learners.

1. Give your teen boundaries.

Have you notice along the farms where cows are grazing?  They are always located near the fence!
It is also the same with our children, especially our teens.  You should define and give your boundaries for your teen.  Boundaries that are fully understood and could be followed.

2. Show firmness with your decision but mercy and love should not be left out. 

Sometimes it is advisable that, when you impose discipline and punishment upon your child, you should try to suffer the penalty along with him or her.  By doing this, you are teaching him or her about compassion and love.  You are actually reflecting the message of why did God sent His Son to die on the cross our behalf.  To pay for the penalty of our sins, since He is sinless.

3. Do not relinquish your parental authority too soon.

You should instill in the mind of your children that you are still the voice of authority over their lives.  It is because you love them so much and you don't want them to wander away from the right path.  You could give them freedom that they are ready to handle given their age and sense of responsibility.  But giving penalty or discipline should still be imposed in cases that there are disobedience made.

4. Limit activities that are not worthwhile.

Having fun is good for your relationship with your kids.  But too much watching videos and movies, strolling the malls, and playing video games can rob us out of quality time.  Spending time reading a Bible story or a child's devotional book must also be a priority in instilling moral values for children.  You should practice taking a 30 minute period of rest daily with your teen.

5. Think long-term.

Train your child to build a good character by himself or herself.  Teach him or her to practice self-control and controlling his or her temper or other negative behavior.  Do not forget to praise him or her when you see progress and development towards good behavior.

Giving the right kind of discipline to your teens will not only help you gain your teen's respect, but in the long run, will also give you and your children a lasting relationship for both of you to cherish.

Top 5 Reasons Why Your Children Won't Listen To Your Voice

As parents, we would truly be delighted if our children are really obedient to us.  And many times, the opposite is what happening inside every home, even a Christian family home.  This is one area of being parents where we also struggle the most,  how to train your children in the way of the Lord is the challenge here.

Most of the time I share the verse from Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right." to remind them that it is their duty as children to be obedient with their parents at all times except that if it is against moral and against the will of God.

Based on my experience, I would love to share with you the top 5 reasons why our children are somewhat "disobedient" to us and would not listen to our voice.

1. Household Rules are not properly defined or installed and therefore not properly understood.

Just like in every game we play, house rules should be properly defined, communicated and understood by every member of the family.  If needed, rewards and penalty should be communicated as well and also must be imposed.

2. Children were not trained well especially during their early years.

"Train up a child in the way he should go so that when he is old he will not depart from it" as the Proverbs says.  It is important to input go values, obedience for one, to a child's mind especially during his early childhood, as early as 3 or 4 year old, I believe.  For this will become the foundation of good moral values and right conduct as he or she is growing from childhood to teenage years to adolescent and to adulthood.

3. Kids were not motivated to being obedient.

What is there to being obedient?  There should be a proper motivation for children to become obedient.  I don't believe that corporal punishment or spanking is the answer as it is the opposite of motivation, if you know what I mean.  In fact, my middle child, a daughter, will endure the spanking, she would not even cry a tear even if she was spanked or punished for disobedience, as long as she can.  She is a Strong-Willed Child (SWC), I know, for I was one, too, when I was a child. :)   Shouting or yelling won't do either, believe me, I've been there.

This is the part where you should do the hard work as a parent.  Take time to study the attitudes and habits of your kids.  And I mean, spend more time to be with your children so that you will know them better.  And this should start as early as possible.  Cultivate good relationship, and correct your children's bad behavior as young as they are.  I believe that in doing this, you will have a proper "grasp" on how to really motivate your children towards obedience, not only to you as their parents, but to other people as well, especially those of authorities.

4. You are not showing a good example.

"Walk your talk" is the key here.  For our kids to become obedient, we need to be obedient first.  We need to obey the rules we ourselves set in our homes.  We are not excuse from not being obedient.  In so doing, it will not be difficult for us to rear our children towards being obedient.

5. We are being inconsistent.

We should be consistent especially with our words and the house rules that we set.  If we say "yes" we should mean "yes" and "no" should really be "no".  There should be no room for inconsistencies.  Remember, our children are watching and observing our actions and also the way we treat them if they are being obedient or not.

"Wew!", I heard you say.  I know that it is really tough being a parent, but I also believe that if you avoid these things, we will surely reap a good harvest and if you have trained your kids in the way of the Lord, I bet you'll be glad you did. :)




How To Teach Your Kids Moral Values

To teach your kids moral values is a very challenging task one parent could face.

And it is especially difficult today given the (im)morality or the so called "morals" of today's generation.  It is like your swimming or running against the current, as we can today that morality is really declining.  We need to teach our young children morality if we wanted them to become productive citizens and have a better future.

Here are some practical suggestions to teach your children the moral values they need to learn:

1.  Define moral or morality properly.

This is very basic and at the same time, very crucial since every person has his or her own definition of morality, and if we are not careful enough and have the wrong definition or view of morality, then we are heading towards the wrong direction or even worse.

2.  Consider the Bible as the best source of morality.

Since God is the highest and only source of morality and His infallible Word is given to us to guide us in the right path we should take if we wanted to live a holy or righteous life, then there is a need for us to continuously seek His will and guidance through the Bible.  It is like our roadmap to which we journey in this life.  "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path." as written in Psalm 119:105.

3.  Live by example.

We always heard, and sometimes we ourselves say "Follow what I say, but don't follow what I do.", but we know that this should not be so.  We must always backed up the moral values that we teach our children with our own actions and behavior because actions speaks louder than words.  This is the most challenging part, I believe, of teaching our children the moral values they need to learn and prac

Invest Time With Your Kids

As a wise parent once said, "You never spend time with your kids; you invest it."

Studies reveal that average time parents spend with their kids has drastically declined 10 to 12 hours.  "Does it really matter how much amount of time I spend with my children?", you would probably ask. After all, your teens probably doesn't want you to be always nosing around in their daily activities. And there is no need for a 24/7 "security guard" or "body guard" anymore the moment they reached their teenage years.  So what's the big deal?

As you raise your children, like everyone else, they need your love.  And the amount of time you invest with your kids reveal that they're receiving love from you.

Investing time with your children means that your are using one of your scarcest resources.  And I believe that it is worth investing your time with with your kids for a fact that you're building a lifetime relationship, and there will be no regret for doing so.  You are in fact, adding value to the lives of your kids.  "Spending" time with your kids might not be more enticing, but if you see it as an "investment", you and your teen will find more joy rather than out of obligation in your life.

And you'll be glad you did the right thing.  Enjoy your time with your kids.